The many lives of a lifetime

I have recently been reminded a few times of different periods of my life by different friends. How many periods can I really have, you ask, considering I am only 30 years old? I know it sounds strange but I think you would be surprised if you thought of your past and how many "lives" you have led.

Recently I reconnected with a friend from high school. He was a really good friend of mine throughout high school, but a year younger. We tried to keep in touch but you know how it goes, time slips by you go to different schools and you lose touch. (It didn't help that we had a situation in our relationship that wasn't felt both ways, which I handled really bad...sorry...See Traveling Chica's post last week about unrequited love for some interesting points on this topic.) But we have reconnected, even if it is through email, it is something. Similar situations happened last year with another friend from high school and a friend from college.

As I was talking via email with my friend from high school, I was telling him how strange it is to me that I have such great memories from high school and I LOVED everything about it, I do not have any hard feelings towards anyone or anything from my high school years, but yet I don't keep in touch with anyone. It is almost like I feel guilty, or cheated. Yet it feels like a different life for me. I guess in a way it was a different life.

Then I started thinking about it; in my short 30 years, I have friends and family who have been there for everything and will probably always be there. Then I have my friends from high school. These people see you through a very hard time in your life. They see the ups, downs and awkward times of your adolescence. You think these friends are going to be in your wedding, they are going to be your kids God Parents and you are going to be friends forever. (Don't believe me? Read your year books!) But even if you aren't going to keep in touch with all of your high school friends there are those select few that you know you are going to keep in touch with.

Then many of us go away to school and we meet complete strangers and they too, see you through a very hard time in your life. These friends help you to become the independent adult that you are today. You live with these friends and you try to have that uncomfortable weekend when your high school friends meet your college friends, and you realize that you have moved on to the next stage of your life and maybe those people aren't your friends forever; but your college buddie's certainly are...so you think until you are talking to your mom about this great friend you have and you realize that you don't even know their last name.

College is kind of a different beast, we all graduate at different times, we get married, some of have kids right away and we are more then likely not going to end up in the same city or probably state. Once again the years slip by and we are creating a new life for ourselves as fully functioning adults (functional/disfunctional...all kind of the same at this point). Sure we invite them to our wedding and we get invited to theirs, but once the weddings are over it dwindles to email forwards and Christmas cards. But we are now leading another life; the married working life.

Then there are the friends that don't have kids at the same time as you. Nothing changes you like having kids. This is when there is a big shift, because they can't understand what you are going through, even though most try, and you can't remember what it is like to be without a diaper bag.

So back to the title of this post; I feel at times as if I have three lives that I have been extremely happy with and many happy memories yet I have let them fade as we move on to the next. These lives that I led are so different and they never seem to coincide. I suppose this is all part of the process of life, but I can't help but feel sad at times for missing the other parts of my life. And for that reason I think I am most grateful for the friends in the different stages of my life that I have remained in touch with or reconnected with. These people are very special to me and they remind me of the many happy memories I have of the different lives I have led.

And it is funny to think how each of those lives combined and overlapped just enough to get me to where I am today. I wouldn't be happily married with my beautiful little boy if it wasn't for my husband. I wouldn't have my husband if it wasn't for my college fraternity, I wouldn't have my college fraternity if it wasn't for my roommate, I wouldn't have had my roommate if it wasn't for a bad situation living with a friend from high school (another relationship mended through the stages of life), I wouldn't have met any of them if it wasn't for UWP, I wouldn't have chosen UWP if it wasn't for my brother...and as you can see this goes on for ever. So thank you to those friends that are still in my life today and those that were in my past. I hold a special place in my heart for all of you.